My patented “no spoiler” superhero movie review. You know the drill. I realized I forgot to update for the last superhero movie, so there are two additions this time.
I’d like to elaborate on something I twittered the other day:
It’s not a pleasant thing when I’m in a public place and there’s a need to do “number two.” In the back of the toilet stall there are those sanitary liners, and I want to use them because who knows how many nasty butts have been sitting on that toilet seat since the last time it was cleaned.
Embarrassingly, the sanitary liners are a bit of a mystery to me. They come in the shape of a toilet seat, more or less, with centers that apparently punch out, but on closer inspection their centers aren’t well-perforated. In fact, the rear parts of the punch-outs aren’t perforated at all.
That leads me to wonder if the center is supposed to be punched completely out, or merely loosened around the front and sides and allowed to drape from the back into the bowl.
Neither way works particularly well. The day I posted the above tweet, my first attempt on punching out the center resulted in the liner ripping into two pieces.
That was no good, so I got a second one, punched the center out, carefully positioned it on the seat and watched as it slid into the bowl.
The third attempt was the same as the second. I observed that the liner was somewhat narrower than the actual seat. I’m sure my butt would welcome the wider seat, but at what cost? The cost of being unsanitary?
At that point I realized I must not be doing this right. I think we should have peel-n-stick butt liners we can attach to our hind quarters, then we wouldn’t have to sweat where we can go to potty.
In fact, I can design the peel-n-stick butt liners like post-it notes, and then we can attach a day’s worth of them each morning, peeling off and flushing a layer after each use. That way no one would never get caught in an awkward, unsanitary public restroom situation.
Let me know what you think. As I work to develop and patent my new peel-n-stick butt liner invention, any tips you can offer on the current, waxy, kind would be much appreciated.
I found a web site this morning that describes each of the American Film Institute’s top 100 movies in exactly five words. Some of my favorites:
Click here to read the full list (not safe for work).
Last Thursday around twilight, I flew between two thunderstorms on a commercial flight from Omaha to Memphis. It was one of the most spectacular sights I’ve encountered.
I snapped three photos from my iPhone (which, of course, was in Airplane mode at the time). Although these photos don’t adequately capture the splendor of what I saw, I thought I’d share them. Click here to see the other photos I took.